LASTMA Parole In Ikeja.

I had some wonderful moments with LASMA and Police officers earlier today. I Didn’t know law enforcement officials could be damn afraid of women (feeling fly. lol). I was behind schedule for a meeting which held at Surulere, fortunately a friend of mine offered to give me a ride since it was his route. We got to Ikeja(roundabout at Ayinke house) but was surprised at how this particular LASMA official jumped in front of the car. We wondered what was going on. Not until a police officer opened the door to the backseat and sat in that we were told we broke traffic light rule (This was absolute lie but there was really nothing we could do because my friend had no drivers’ license). Omo, I just weak. If he had his license, the officers would have seen me in action and I ain’t joking. We drove further and parked the car at a place. Here comes LASMA official. As he entered, he thought he could bamboozu us with “let’s go to the station” for where? my friend said station bawo… scoping now started. Meanwhile, I had my earpiece in my ears (I was actually distracted by a call earlier) while I was also trying to pass a message across to my friend via text. I didn’t know that got the LASMA official on edge. He actually thought I was calling someone for them. He began saying in yoruba more like a question ‘who am I calling?’ He kept emphasizing on my use of the phone until I allayed his fears that I was making calls to nobody by showing him my phone(with that, I knew we had them cornered). They kept asking irrelevant questions. We knew what they were driving at. While they were still bargaining for 7500, my friend and I both chorused, we are on our way from church…Eventually my friend was asked how much he had, he responded ‘I don’t have anything except my offering’ with the explanation that he didn’t have time to stay in the service because of a matter concerning one of the teenagers in church which he had to sort out.
Official (LASMA): How much is there?
My friend: 1000 naira
Officials: that’s small o, e fi kun
Me: It’s offering na (giving a wry smile)
Official (LASMA): you have a good wife o. She is so cool. I even thought she was going to compound the issue but she has been calm. (both responded, we are not each other’s spouse)Oya e fi nkan si. (add something).
Me: (acting like I had something to give, still smiling, wryly though) mi o ni anything ti ma fi si, church l’atinbo. ati e ti late…
the police man who is an old man removed the money and returned the envelope with urgency. Both of them eventually got down and bade us farewell.

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