‘Crazy’ Folks Everywhere

When you have a driver that is good at telling tales, you just sit back and enjoy it in your strides, after all, that gives you respite from the paralysing traffic on our roads! Whew!!!

He started “This ban on keke don land me in trouble”. One man met me at Elliot bus stop (iju Ishaga area) and asked me to take him to Ikeja. I tell am say dem don ban keke for that side I no fit go. Na so the man tell me say him be ‘force man’ say make I no worry.” At this juncture, I was intentional in my listening, lol. He went on “we got to Omole junction and LASTMA officials flagged us down. When I stopped they asked me what I was doing on that road since Keke had been banned from plying the road. I responded that the passenger I carried was a ‘force man’ and that he was the one who told me to go.

The LASTMA officials looked at the man and greeted him in Yoruba and said to him, sir, this is not right. You are the ones making the law and violating it at the same time. Ok, please identify yourself. Na so the man no see ID card present o. It was in the course of questioning from LASTMA officials that I found out he works with Halogen Security (those companies that guard banks and other institutions). What?!!!

Long story short, they took us to LASTMA office around Agidingbi and I was fined 25,000 Naira. By this time, I had held on tightly to the trouser of the ‘force man’ insisting he must pay the fine. After a while, he pleaded he had an appointment and gave me his phone number, promising to send some money to me towards paying the fine. The man refused to pick my calls till date. This happened on a Saturday when I had no money.

On Monday I went to their office pleading that they release my keke because I was acting on the assurances of the ‘force man’. When it became obvious that they would not bulge, I had to take my wife and our triplets to their office on Tuesday morning. Fortunately for me, I ran into the head of LASTMA as soon as I got to their office. He was driving into the compound and saw me and my family. He inquired what we needed and I explained my ‘force man’ story to him. I added that this keke is what I use to take care of my wife and our triplets and if it is not returned I will simply run away back to Ondo and leave them here. The LASTMA Boss, burst into laughter and immediately asked his officers to release my keke.” We all couldn’t hold our laughter.

To cap up his tales, he said, “why I am working in a rush today is because my fellow tenants keeps our Nepa money with me, but this last one, I dont know how I finished the money. When they gave it to me, I was hungry and said, let me take just 500 to Ibo joint to eat akpu. By the time I would realize, the money had finished few days later. Nepa came on Friday and the tenants called me. I just kept shouting “I can’t hear you, network is bad to the person who called. So I deliberately stayed out with a friend on Friday night and got home late when I knew all the tenants would have slept and I left home before any of them woke up the next morning. So today I have to make all the money back and be the first person at Nepa Office tomorrow morning to pay.

The tricycle pulled over at my bus stop and I just came down, wondering what manner of person he was! ‘Crazy’ people everywhere. Lol

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